Jon Heyman gets lazy....

I don't generally expect a lot out of Jon Heyman. I generally don't really expect anything, other than the one hilariously ignorant article if/when somebody tries to talk about stats with him. But this is just straight-up laziness.

2. Mets: [T]hey'll hope Fernando Tatis and Daniel Murphy can form a viable platoon in left field and apparently also that Luis Castillo can spring to life (Jerry Manuel wisely is already making him feel better by saying he might get some leadoff at-bats)

Why is Luis Castillo getting leadoff at-bats? Why would this make him feel better? Why is making him feel better important? Why is Jerry Manuel wise to do this? There are so many unanswered questions here and it's sickening.

4. A's: Matt Holliday should transform their offense. Had they gotten Rafael Furcal, too, they'd also vie for the top spot on this list. In any case, it's nice to see them giving it a shot, even if their new win-now strategy almost seemed to change on a dime.

So, what did the A's do, other than get Matt Holliday, to deserve this high of a ranking?

Oh. That's it. Well, thanks for that non-analysis.

5. Diamondbacks: Jon Garland gives them a solid No. 3 starter in one of baseball's best rotations. If their young players emerge, most notably Justin Upton, they'll be dangerous, especially in that division.

Wrong. Jon Garland is in no way a #3 starter. #5 probably, #4 at best. The Diamondbacks added a mediocre innings-eater and lost Adam Dunn. What did they do this offseason to merit having a top-five rating of offseasons? I don't care about what could happen with Justin Upton. You're talking about what they did this offseason.

14. Reds: They lost out on Jermaine Dye, but Willy Taveras is the leadoff hitter they need. That young nucleus may be ready to win.

I was promised analysis of each team's offseason. This is not that. You list the Reds as a "winner" because they got Willy Taveras? I didn't even pay for this and I want my money back.

16. Tigers: Nobody underachieved like them last year. And while they didn't continue their spending spree this winter, a return to the mean by their key players would still put them in contention.

I see zero names of players here, and absolutely minimal analysis of the Tigers' offseason. If you're going to talk about how the Tigers' return to the mean could put them in contention, please explain who these players are at the absolute least.

25. Orioles: They got Nick Markakis on a long-term deal, but didn't get any new players to make anyone think there's light at the end of the Fort McHenry Tunnel.

Felix Pie? (Trading away Ramon Hernandez to make room for) Matt Wieters? Koji Uehara? All of these prove that there's light at the end of the Fort McHenry Tunnel. Please don't tell my you're that ignorant.

26. Marlins: Need to change their name to Florida Misers.

Thanks again for your deep, insightful, detailed, hard-hitting analysis of the Marlins' offseason.

29. Twins: Baseball's annual overachievers should never be doubted. Joe Crede could be on his way to fill a major need.

Why is this an "incomplete"? Because they haven't done anything you thought was important? That didn't stop you from ranking 28 other teams.

Jon Heyman, you disgust me. There's bad sportswriting, and then there's not making an effort, and then there's this.